(In)direct to camera

 

Hmmm.

The events in the world this week... well, they raise many questions, don't they? We may not find out the answers to some of them any time soon; and others... But the immediate question for me, here, is: what is the point in continuing to attempt detailed analysis of art music, in a tiny and near-forgotten corner of the internet (or anywhere else)? Does any of this really matter, now? 

It's something I need to address, just so I don't feel like a fraud with my very next post - regardless of its actual content. It is no good putting work and time into writing about music, blithely pretending as if nothing has changed (or is about to). Is it appropriate for me to carry on at all? I don't want to appear to be - whistling past the graveyard, as they say. Equally, if I am to carry on with all this, I don't want to be prefacing every single post with "Not that it matters much now, but..." or words to that effect. So it feels as if I need to deal with all this head on, so to speak, before I go any further.

I've mused before about whether B's stated intentions with regard to raising the level of human consciousness, or saving the planet through music, etc, can be said to have succeeded to any extent (and if they have, how would we go about measuring that, or even observing it?). Actually, I suspect that there has been a gradual raising of consciousness in the last few decades, but such is the way of things, there only ever seems to be so much of any commodity to go around, and raising something in one place will have the (apparently-inevitable) effect of lowering it elsewhere. Net result: everything is less balanced than ever, or at least more unstable. I'm very far from convinced that raising consciousness globally is even possible, never mind practically achievable. 

Still...

Even as my mind keeps remembering that everything seems awfully bleak, I don't feel that all hope is lost. Wilful self-delusion? It's not that, at any rate; I'm not blind to the possibilities, even the direst of them. Whatever the reason, a brief slump into near-total despair has been followed by a lift, of sorts: somewhat to my surprise, I don't seem able to give up hope completely. That being the case, it feels more essential than ever to continue doing those things which will enable me to keep my spirits up. And when it comes to music in general, and to Braxton's music in particular, it's not simply a matter of enjoying it or even of allowing my nerdy detail-freak tendencies to get to grips with it; there are other qualities which sustain me on a deeper level. (A lot of this has to do with the way his music simultaneously requires and facilitates the highest degree of creative involvement from its interpreters...)

In other words, I will keep going, until such time as I can't. With every post from now on, there will be an unvoiced element of even in the face of all this... but the posts themselves will continue, and I shan't excuse them or apologise for writing them. 

***

I have said many times before that I would write this stuff even if nobody ever read it, and that's basically true: it makes me feel better when I do it, so in that sense the work justifies itself. Nevertheless, as small as the potential readership always is for this kind of writing, I know that there must be plenty of people out there who might be interested, but who are not aware of me at all. This is of course entirely my own fault: I am completely cut off from social media, and having built up an initial following, I managed to alienate much of it over the next few years, before going (almost) completely silent. But: if you find yourself here and get anything out of reading these posts at all, will you consider telling a friend? Don't assume they know about us already - they probably don't. Of course, not all of us have friends who can dig this stuff, but - how about it?

C x