*1), i do not even qualify as mentally ill. it is all most perplexing and frustrating.
at age 44, it strikes me repeatedly that i am effectively mentally ill anyway, because i have become so emotionally unstable after decades of being placed under extreme stress - and have never fully succeeded in finding a route away from all that. there are ways and there are ways (and more latterly ways) of dealing with this, but inherent and/or habitual personal flaws or weaknesses tend to undermine the optimal use of any remedy, sooner or later.
aaaaaarrrgggghhhhhhhghghghghghghgh fucking hell
it's been a weird fucking summer. on the plus side, we have moved house at long last (six years overdue) and the family immediately feels much better as a result. mrs c in particular is just so much happier and nicer to be around. also more tolerant of me, therefore... so it all sounds very positive, except that alas, the negatives are really stacking up at the moment, apparently i still have a lot of unpaid debts which must be cleared or at least addressed before i can straightforwardly enjoy the move. not that i ever really do anything straightforwardly, but...well, you get the idea.
[- incidentally: much to my surprise, i return to the blog tonight for the first time in several months to find plenty of page hits going on. this was certainly not the case the last time i looked. now i really have no idea whether anyone is actually reading, or whether random webcrawlers are just rutting in my undergrowth, so to speak. curiouser and curiouser.]
right then... this one was never going to be a long drawn-out affair. done and dusted
* v. comments